A Word on the State of Doritos, City Finances and Crazy Cop News

Good morning from Meriden Patch! Today is Tuesday, Aug. 13, 2013.

Before we get into the usual daily five items to start your day, I need to take a moment and throw my endorsement behind this wonderful and accurate take on Doritos from West Hartford Patch Local Editor Ted Glanzer. He got it right, spot on:

"Psst. Mr. (or Ms.) Doritos executive. Yeah. You. C’mere. I want to have a word with you.

Let’s chat about Doritos.

First, let me say, “Thank you” for your delicious product. Never before in the history of history has a foodstuff tasted so good while smelling so bad.

Anyhoo, I got a couple of things on my mind and I have to share them with you. First, a word about Doritos JACKED. While I appreciate the effort, I’m not entirely certain we need Doritos on steroids.

I mean, have you ever heard of someone saying, “You know, the flavor of these Doritos is so subtle, so nuanced, that it’s lost even on my delicate palate. We need to amp this [expletive deleted] up.” Yeah, me neither. So no need for those.

Also, my boy Southington LE Jason Vallee and I both agree that you must bring back 3D Doritos. If Jason and I are in accord, trust me when I say there are thousands upon thousands of dudes out there despairing over the loss of that awesome Doritos incarnation. If Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace can be made into 3D, then there’s room for Doritos to be in the third dimension, too.

Finally, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend. While I love Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos, Spicy Nacho flavored Doritos, regular Nacho Cheese Doritos, among others, I counted that there were 9 different flavors of your product at my grocery store alone. In the produce section, I counted 8 different kinds of apples.

Take from that what you will, but for me it means that we are doomed.

Pass the 3D Doritos."

Now back to your usual programming. Here's some news to start your day:

1. Learn to use your e-reader and access free publications: E-Reader Drop In at Meriden Public Library.

2. From the government side, the City Council's Finance Committee will meet tonight at 6:30 p.m. at Meriden City Hall, 142 Main St.

3. In case you missed it: Who doesn't get a little laugh out of some interesting police news? See some of the more interesting in the region with our weekly OMG PD series.

4. Summer been dragging on? Need to get the kids out of the house? Join the Kids Entertainment Series in Southington, just a short ride down the Meriden-Waterbury Turnpike, tonight at 6 p.m. at Recreation Park for a little magic and comedic juggling. There is no charge to attend.

5. Elsewhere on Patch: Dari Serv is hiring high school students. Know someone who needs a job? Show them this article!

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