As of this morning, nearly 159,000 people have taken a pledge that can help my daughter and other children and adults in our community who have intellectual disabilities, and which can help end bullying.
They have pledged to… “support the elimination of the derogatory use of the r-word from everyday speech and promote the acceptance and inclusion of people with intellectual disabilities.”
The pledge is part of the Spread the Word to End the Word campaign which is supported by more than 200 organizations, and was started in conjunction with Best Buddies and the Special Olympics.
Today marks the third annual Spread the Word to End the Word day – its goal is to end the derogatory use of the words retard and retarded. This campaign isn’t about censorship, it’s about raising awareness so that those with intellectual disabilities – mental retardation – are treated with respect and valued in our society.
While mental retardation refers to a medical condition, retard and retarded have become synonyms for the words foolish or stupid – which are really the last thing those with intellectual disabilities are.
And here is the part that goes right over most people's heads – when you casually fling out “you’re so retarded” you aren’t insulting the person you’re addressing; you’re insulting every person whose medical records have ever contained the diagnosis mental retardation.
You are in essence calling my daughter stupid or foolish and I don’t know too many mothers who would take all that kindly to that.
I also believe pretty strongly that as adults we need to teach our children through example. Our kids hear us and repeat what they hear from parents, grandparents, older siblings and so our actions and words need to be how we want our children to act and speak.
Take a moment, think before you speak and realize the damage words can do and if you’re ready to step up and make a change then sign the pledge to Spread the Word to End the Word.
And if you want to see how frequently the word is used (and how people react to being asked not to use it), check out this blog – where one mom takes on the Twitterverse and gets some predictable and unpredictable results.
While you are welcome to say and think whatever you want, Tom, I will join Kathy in being free to view you as insensitive and uninformed. I will also gently point out that Alice has called for a modicum of decency and good behavior. Decent people respond accordingly. Indecent people continue to trample the feelings and rights of others.
Words have meaning and implications that are not subjective, not the responsibility of the person who hears them...you choose the words you use, either with some basic consideration for their impact on others or not. As others have said, people like Tom have the right to be insensitive jackasses, but they don't have the right to blame other people for it. Would you drop an N-bomb and then explain to a person who objected (assuming he objected verbally and that you were still conscious) that it's really his problem for making the word 'hurtful'? The position is a ridiculous excuse to avoid taking responsibility for your own actions. You have a right to use whatever words you like, but it's pathetic to try to weasel out of accepting the consequences for using them.
You're right, as I once hear the poet Piri Thomas say -- 'Words can be bullets or butterflies.' But where you are incorrect is in thinking that it is the person hearing those words who is making the choice. The choice to use words as bullets or butterflies comes from the speaker. So feel free to use bullets -- I much prefer butterflies and to remember that when you show respect to others, it is usually shown to you. Alice